Too Much

I just realize that something that too much is not good...
too much love someone make me feel like "i can't do anything without him"..
aarrgghh...
it must be :

"I CAN DO IT, EVEN WITHOUT HIM"

it's too much...
now i'll try to decrease, reduce my feeling...

^o^

The Most [NOT] Comfortable City

fiuuuu,,,
barusan nyampe jogja...senangnya...(gak terlalu dink sebenernya..)...
kemaren lusa aq berangkat kesalah satu kota di pantura..
ikut si jeng yang mau tes kerja..
dan ternyata,,,
di sana sama sekali beda dengan yang ada di pikiranku....
segala - galanya serba gak enak...
bener - bener gak enak...FYI aku gak melebaykan keadaan..
soalnya si jeng juga setuju,,,
kotanya tu,,,yang paling aku gak suka,,panasnya...
ampuuunn....panas banget,,,gerah,,,,pokoknya gak enak banget lah...
mungkin salah satu sebab kenapa panas gara - gara kotanya di pesisir pantai...
tapi yampun...bali aja yang kotanya di tepi pantai gak sepanas ini...
trus yang bikin gak enak lagi...di kota ini ni...sama sekali gak ada tempat yang bisa dikunjungi..
aku sama si jeng dah muter - muter nyari alun - alun,,,kalo di kota lain kan biasanya yang rame tu di alun - alun..ini gak ada...
huaaa...gak tahan aku di sana...
gak betah...
pokoknya,,

HIGHLY NOT RECOMENDED CITY FOR ANYTHING

semangat yok...

Sudah sampe di Jogja dengan sehat wal afiat...
tapi kok kaya masih ada yang mengganjal yo...
sediih,,,kesepian,,
like my older post...
badan dan pikiranku masih belum bisa menerima n menyadari kalo aku sekarang sudah di jogja lagi...
aku masih belum bisa menerima kenyataan kalo aku bukan di rumah lagi..
sama kek dulu waktu aku pertama pulang..
harus menerima kenyataan kalo aku harus pulang..
trus harus bisa menerima kalo harus jauh dari si jeng...
miriiis banget,,sediih...
tapi mudah-mudahan bisa lebih normal kaya aku drumah kemaren,,,
sedikit demi sedikit mulai bisa menerima kenyataan...
tapi sekarang aku harus mulai lagi dari awal...
harus bisa menerima kalo aku jauh lagi dari si jeng..
jauh dari rumah..jauh dari orang tua....
semangat..semangat..semangat...
harus bisa lebih semangat!!!!
disini masih banyak temen-temen yang menemani..
masih ada hal besar yang harus diselesaikan..
biar agak lega...
semangat yok!!!!
cepet-cepet selesaikan skripsi biar bisa pulang...
biar bisa kumpul sama orang yang paling memahami kita...keluarga!!!!
semangat yokk......

I don't know part II

Ya Allah please make this bad sad stress depress alone feeling disapear from me...
i know i did a lot of dosa..
Maybe this is your way to punish me..
To make me realize that i did lot wrong things...
To make me more remember to you...
To make me do more pray to you...
To make me focus on one thing...
Not just on he's thing...
Please forgive me ya Allah...
Tolong bimbing aku...

I don't know

I hate when this feeling come,,
Like now...
I sleep,,
And i wake up..and that feeling comes,,
Feels like scare of something...
Feels like alone,,,
May be it because i just arrived in jogja...my body and my mind can't accept that i'm in jogja right now..
my mind is prevent that i was in jogja,,
Wake up!!!!
Wake up!!!!
i'm in jogja right now...
i have to accept that i'm in jogja right now...not in borneo anymore...
Wake up!!!!
May be i need to go to "psikiater"...
I want to know what happen on me...
Is that i'm stress or depressed or crazy or something?
Or because he is not here,,
Aarrrgghhh!!!
I don't want to feels that feeling again...
I've been felt this feeling before...
When i have to go home..
And he have to go home too..
were live in different city,,
like avenged sevenfold dear god song i think...hehe..
"far away from those/that i love"...
I'm so tired if i have to feel it again,,,
or may be i do a lot of "dosa"..
Like yesterday,,
and Allah menghukum aq..
Dengan memunculkan perasaan ini lagi...